069 I Saved the Dip
Lyrics
alarm went off like a national threat
i hit snooze so hard it commands respect
blanket pulled rank said “get back in line”
so i surrendered to sacred design
cold pizza glows in the fridgelight blue
a holy relic from my more ambitious youth
took one bite and heaven replied
“you showed up conscious
that counts
you’re fine”
my left sock quit my right one too
we formed a council with nothing to do
the cushions parted like a holy sea
the remote descended laid its crown on me
the kingdom needs me horizontal now
i’m vegging out yeah i’m vegging out
king of the blanket kingdom now
phone on dnd blinds halfdown
if doing the least was a sport i’d sell the stadium out
not today not today
big plans cute not today
i opened my eyes
that was enough
let’s not ask for miracle number two today
neighbor flew by on a cardio kick
he’s burning calories i’m saving the grid
one motionless limb at a time don’t panic
i’m an ecohero in drawstring fabric
my smartwatch screamed “you still got goals”
i flipped it facedown by the dinner rolls
swapped my sleep pajamas for daytime plaid
same surrender different pattern
i’m vegging out yeah i’m vegging out
king of the blanket kingdom now
not today not today
code red we were down to one chip
the kingdom shook even the cushions held their breath
i rose from the couch with a drum in my chest
throwblanket cape bedhead doing its best
the fridge loomed ahead like everest moonwhite
freezer wind slicing the dead of the night
past laundry ravine where the lonely socks weep
where the shadows of chores are buried so deep
across chargerline pass and the crumbcovered dune
i found the dip
it expires well soon
but i wasn’t going back for a cleaner spoon
some battles force a soldier to choose
tonight hygiene lost
the dip prevailed
i’m vegging out yeah i’m vegging out
king of the blanket kingdom now
phone on dnd blinds halfdown
i brought back the dip go write the legend down
not today not today
big plans cute i did enough today
i opened my eyes
then i saved the dip
some days surviving looks embarrassingly small
still it counts
let’s not ask for miracle number three today
please hold all calls
i’ve returned from the summit
with dip
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