019 Regional Manager of Nowhere
Lyrics
i’m the regional manager of absolutely nowhere
my office is my desk, which doubles as my dinnerware
i sign contracts with myself - oh, highstakes deals
usually about whether instant ramen even counts as meals
my empire spans exactly one swivel chair
it squeaks like a knight, announcing flair with care
every paperclip bows, every pencil salutes
in my tiny kingdom, there’s no room for disputes
i hold board meetings with my houseplants at three
they nod politely, whisper “you’re trying your best, you see”
my financial advisor is a calculator low on juice
it blinks twice for “invest”, once for “that’s a ruse”
i diversify my assets ‘tween hope and caffeine
both volatile markets, but the vibe stays pristine
i don’t just manage - i orchestrate a parade
every crumpled note and sticky tape carefully laid
my throne is a chair, leaning architecturally
my socks all cheer, disappearing magically
confidence through the roof, my empire divine
ruling chaos with style - oh baby, it’s all mine
i stroll past luxury stores, “cute beginner stuff”
adjust my hoodie, battleworn times two, rough
bank account’s a joke, but synergy’s a dance
who needs numbers when dreams get a chance
i give motivational speeches to laundry piled high
“fold later, dream bigger” echoes to the sky
each sock a citizen, each towel a knight
in my whimsical world, i reign day and night
my throne’s a chair assembled imperfectly
but it leans with purpose… architecturally
though my kingdom’s tiny, morale stays divine
because it’s mine, all mine - and oh, how i shine
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